We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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