He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He felt like a one man threesome
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
