sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
