I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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