You're so nebulous sometimes
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
