the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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