You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
