My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
