We won't sleep together?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize