Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
