I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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