After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
