What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize