why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
