this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I AM VODKA MAN
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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