Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
