I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
