she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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