all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
