Can Purell be used as lube?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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