just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
