walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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