smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
