Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
it wasn't lemon gatorade
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize