I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
