hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You need a sexual gate keeper
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
