That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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