I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
