How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
