Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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