you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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