i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
