dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
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