No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
