You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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