did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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