Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize