Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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