Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
