you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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