Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
