Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
