I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
