you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
