**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
