Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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