I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
