I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
