We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Sext me about skeletons
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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