Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
