If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
