Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
