Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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