yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize