In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
