I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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