i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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