Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
