I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
