If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize