She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
