brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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