There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
