im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
