Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
