He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
