This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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