we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize