She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
His nipple licking is glorious
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