There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize